Fact: assholes have been around forever.

Popular ones are Hitler, Stalin, Beethoven, Coco Chanel, Bush etc and the less popular ones would be Turkish cab-drivers for instance.

So thats not new obviously.

I was doing some research on self-help books and stumbled upon this beautiful one, for assholes, at amazon.ca.

The title of the book is “A**hole no more” and it’s written by Xavier Crement M.D.

Now what this book basically does is teaches assholes to become decent human beings. It helps them deal with, and take their disease ASSHOLISM seriously.

I also checked up some more on the author Mr. Crement and learnt that he has 3 books in his Asshole Saga which are:
1.Asshole no more
2.Assholes Forever
3.The Asshole Conspiracy

Poor darling Dr. Xavier though, because after his passionate interest in the widespread epidemic of assholism, he went into seclusion believing in a conspiracy haunting him.

No one knows anything of him as of now. But we do know if you are an asshole or are related to one or have a friend who is an asshole- get them A**hole no more..

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I associate tea with the bourgeoisie crowd.

It jus doesnt appeal to me, and I only drink it if I’m down with something. I simply am a coffee person.

I also know thanks to wikipedia, scientists, tons of ol’ wives tales, and many a visits to remarkable spice markets in the Middle East as well as European doctors prescriptions that chamomile tea is magic!

It really is magic!! And it’s not jus for the Bourgeoisie. People on an international level stick up for it and different cultures recommend it religiously.

My list of when to use chamomile tea is as follows:

– When you’ve overloaded on the fried chicken and coleslaw
– When your muscles are sore for whatever reason
– When babies cry i.e. are uneasy, or can’t sleep (recommended to give to the child ofc)
– When you’re going crazy trying to get through the crap you’ve been going through
– When you catch a cold or the flu jus cz you’ve hugged people you haven’t seen in forever
– When you’re working that flatulence
– When your claws come out
– When you get a cut or bruise (kick a** antiseptic properties)

Yes it really is great- but I’m just NOT a tea person…

Some herbal for you

March 18, 2010

People I’m closest to, know that I’m a huge herbal/ home remedy person. Always trying, testing, and thirsty to learn more..

I truly believe that every home has a pharmacy right at their fingertips- their kitchen.

Your kitchen has whatever medication (almost) that can cure many, many ailments if you will. And this is why I’ve decided to blog about some excellent remedies I actually practice and not jus preach.

Feel free to please give feedback- I’m a @#$% for this stuff

Disclaimer- I do not claim to be a Greek-all-knowing herbal Goddess dressed in this white, chiffon, flowing Grecian robe with vintage style beading, and I never fantasize about it either *cough*

The Stoning of Soraya M.

March 16, 2010

Some things are jus despicable. This is one of them…

I rarely judge in the general sense- however, corruption, deceit, and sick, twisted mistreatment of women get to me..

Movies don’t often make that much of an impact- but this one…

Technically, lots of points are inaccurate but I’m not in a detail mood.

She used to…

March 6, 2010

OK, so this is how I start my day. My daily morning ritual consists of washing my face with a morning cleanser, then gently massaging my face with a face brush in circular motion (to get circulation workin so ur not grey, dull and stuff), applying moisturizer, and for the final touch-sunscreen.

I woke up this morning and did what I usually do, and everything was peachy. Up until I realized something. I’m getting old. It suddenly hit me- and that was a blow…

So yes- this is my one fear right now and my current, biggest fear.
I fear aging.
I fear what is going to happen to my neck.
I fear those lines that have already crept up.
I fear the skin under my eyes turning into puffy eye bags.
I fear my cheeks hanging.
I fear kids referring to me as the woman who looks beaten up or saying “oh yea that swollen woman- I think she’s an alcoholic but yea she has all those cats even though she’s daggone allergic-but at least she wears Prada”
I also suddenly do not fear me looking overweight as much as I fear bloated, droopy eye lids and I have ALWAYS had issues with weight.

This also makes me think- how am I going to react to what I’ve just written 5 years down the road?

Who knows what my fear will be then??

Facing the aftermath of a tsunami, giving birth to triplets in a third world country, learning to live with no hot water, finding out that coffee was actually worse than research had predicted, McDonalds ruling the world, purple being the new black, me having to invest in Clarks shoes, aliens attacking Europe NOT the US, not being able to reach my darling sister when I simply need to know what hair color to go for, or to be shattered when scientists/ psychologists say that the word or idea of “mother” was just a concept and never truly existed.

Seriously, who knows…

Mr. Ali

March 4, 2010

On my way home today, I happened to have a little conversation with our driver- Mr.Ali who is a Pakistani national from NWFP(North West Frontier Province in Pakistan). He is Pashtoon.

I don’t really remember why we got into discussing Pakistani politics today (which is not unusual btw) but as always- I learnt a lot.

I want you to imagine Mr.Ali first of all.

He is in his late 20’s, has a dark mustache, fair skin, hazel colored eyes, always well-groomed i.e. nails are cut, his sandals are polished and his traditional clothing- the shalwar kameez, is always washed and ironed.

He takes pride in the way he smells and always ensures the car smells crisp and of proper quality perfume.

He is skinny and tall. He is a father and his wife is 16 years old. My sister had the honor of christening his first child and she named him Enad (he asked for suggestions) and now, he’s regretting that decision cz he found out the name means stubborn- but that’s another blog. LOL. Poor guy!

Mr.Ali and us are kinda close. We bond regularly and I appreciate him and the work he does for us of course. At the end of the day, we are like a family. He knows our schedules, listens to our gossip, knows our favorite brand of food, beverages and our favorite music and of course where all our friends live.

Thing is with Mr.Ali- he kinda neither speaks English nor Arabic very fluently. And even though I have attempted speaking the official language of his country-Urdu (yes I thoroughly enjoy Bollywood and have tons of Asian friends)with him in worst case scenarios (bad grammar and all but he is VERY proud of us) we communicate perfectly.

Working in the education industry for the past 5 years- I know what to look for when listening to a person speak and I’d say his vocabulary is excellent, however his weaknesses lay in fluency, sentence structure and grammar.

With Mr. Ali, and many other before him. I have learnt to happily listen to their stories.

So today was another very informative day. I learnt some more. Like..

Bangladesh and Pakistan used to be one country and only separated in 1971. That’s when Bangladesh gained independance.

I also learnt that Pakistan gained their independance a day before India which was August 14, 1947 for Pakistan and August 15, 1947 in India.

I was fascinated by this quiet little mans intelligence, to be honest. Who would have thought that Mr.Ali who only drives us around has all these historically important dates memorized!!!

I knew he was intelligent but to have all these dates down was like WOW!

So I asked him, who was economically more successful- India or Pakistan?

Naturally he replied- “India because it’s a bigger country. If Pakistan hadn’t split up with Bangladesh- we’d be very economically successful too. Bangladesh is rich with tea. Lipton is made in Bangladesh- thats the yellow money- the yellow tea- the yellow label”

Ok he didnt quite say it like that- but that’s what he meant.

His exact words were as we continued our discussion “Pfakistan is very difficult because all is harami- you know chor? Zardari is a chor-man. Hes horse eating affle. All country is poor but hes horse eating affle and all fruit only. Zardari is Benazir husband . You know Benazir?”

Chor btw means thief…

The he went into how she got assasinated and I quite couldn’t follow but I mentally noted it down on my to-do list- watch Benazir’s assasination on you-tube.

So what I’ve learnt from todays experience is the power of the Eastern education system- no matter how looked down upon the East is- their education system is STRONG!!

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