She used to…

March 6, 2010

OK, so this is how I start my day. My daily morning ritual consists of washing my face with a morning cleanser, then gently massaging my face with a face brush in circular motion (to get circulation workin so ur not grey, dull and stuff), applying moisturizer, and for the final touch-sunscreen.

I woke up this morning and did what I usually do, and everything was peachy. Up until I realized something. I’m getting old. It suddenly hit me- and that was a blow…

So yes- this is my one fear right now and my current, biggest fear.
I fear aging.
I fear what is going to happen to my neck.
I fear those lines that have already crept up.
I fear the skin under my eyes turning into puffy eye bags.
I fear my cheeks hanging.
I fear kids referring to me as the woman who looks beaten up or saying “oh yea that swollen woman- I think she’s an alcoholic but yea she has all those cats even though she’s daggone allergic-but at least she wears Prada”
I also suddenly do not fear me looking overweight as much as I fear bloated, droopy eye lids and I have ALWAYS had issues with weight.

This also makes me think- how am I going to react to what I’ve just written 5 years down the road?

Who knows what my fear will be then??

Facing the aftermath of a tsunami, giving birth to triplets in a third world country, learning to live with no hot water, finding out that coffee was actually worse than research had predicted, McDonalds ruling the world, purple being the new black, me having to invest in Clarks shoes, aliens attacking Europe NOT the US, not being able to reach my darling sister when I simply need to know what hair color to go for, or to be shattered when scientists/ psychologists say that the word or idea of “mother” was just a concept and never truly existed.

Seriously, who knows…


5 Responses to “She used to…”

  1. Linda E Says:

    Serious, funny, yet makes one think..I know who exactly you feel and think you have started to resemble- darling. NO. YOU ARE NOT HER. NEVER WILL BE. FAR MORE BEAUTIFUL EVEN WHEN YOU HIT 60 and moi- I don’t even wanna go there..
    I wonder actually. What does the future hold? Would we look back and smile? Cry? Rejoice? Laugh? Where will we each be? How would our reactions to certain things affecting the ongoing world crisis be? Would view points change? Way we analyze things?

    PS I will always be there to pick a hair color for u..

    Then again,,, fate?!! Is it in our control or is it just a misconception for those who are out of control of their own destiny? I wonder. Lets not go there.

  2. diana Says:

    There is no time to think of the future, poubelles. Right-Now demands all your attention.

    There is only one thing I fear.

    That I die and people forget me in less than a year.

    My Achilles’ heel.

  3. daedul Says:

    Linda- who are you talking about?!? I resemble no one my darling. Whether I hit 60 or not.. I shall idk age gracefully I pray… 😉

    And Diana, thats exactly what I did in the past- I thought about ‘right now’ and now i think why did i not think about the future which is right now, back then?

    Fate- as L says…

    Darling Di- people are not goin to forget u after ur done kickin the bucket in less than a year.. Your memory will remain alive and I’ll make sure it’s kickin…

    I got your back- and if we get killed together due to some oh-so-controversial thing we did- I’m sure A and Kara Thrace will do the honors 😉

    Love you girls

  4. Suzie Q Says:

    I think you should ALWAYS think of the future .. Always think *if I do this OR don’t do this .. how will it affect me or those who are around me?*

    I have always done that .. Well not always .. sometimes *other things* cloud up my thinking .. but yes I think we should try to think of the future … and try to choose the right decisions that would make us the person we want to be in the future .. 🙂

  5. Summer Says:

    😮 come on, only you would think that the kids would think that.. seriously … kids dont think about prada and old lady n stuff like that … just stop worrying soo much n u will age gracefully 😀

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