This IS sacrilege!

May 31, 2010

 

I don’t care what anyone may say to me or about me, but I hate it when you diss Palestine.

I hate when you are so ignorant  and use petty arguments to defend how illiterate you are.

I hate when you generalise and say “you people jus have to get over it”.

I hate that you prance around in the name of something and turn around and contradict your faith. I consider that ignorance too, don’t you?

I hate that you think so low of people jus because they are helpless, yet have the dignity to carry on fighting for their beliefs in whatever way they know best.

I hate that you judge people so harshly because they suffer.

I hate that you make light of a persons faith. This faith can range from their own set of beliefs to losing what they once had. It’s none of your business.

I hate that you speak negatively of them as a nation and generalise and throw in your b#$%hy lil tone. It makes me wana throw a donkey at you. But even a donkey wouldn’t approve of your intellectuality.

I hate it when you can see how misery rules and yet you disrespect, and wave a hand and say WHATEVER.

I even hate that you are so unaware  and THINK you know the Palestinian history and geography, cz darling- what do they call people like that? p.s. I didn’t major in either, but I don’t boast.

I hate that you think you’re all that because YOU ARE NOT, especially when you don’t slightly care or even show any damn sympathy for those who suffer. I will never wish you harm, but I hate the fact that you’re so ignorant.

I hate how everyone’s talking about the situation in Gaza right now and you Madame, once again, wave it off- cz you think you know best. I’d cut you some slack cz I always do- but some things, you just stfu for.      

 This one’s to those who think the Palestine situation’s something to get over.

Get over yourself.

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How chaste thou art.

May 28, 2010

 

I’ve always had a thing for Leonardo’s Lady with the Ermine painting. I don’t know if it’s her expression, the way her hand is positioned as she strokes the Ermine, the way the Ermine is nestled in her arms, or the mysteries and deception behind nobility since back then.

So the ermine used to be a traditional symbol of purity, and Dukes, Kings, nobility all of ’em wore stuff made of ermine and kept them as pets. The Pope still wears an Ermine-trimmed coat.

One thing for sure is, I found ermines to be fascinating animals. Not because they are territorial, or strong despite their tiny size, or that when they kill- they do so and take their food home.

Now legend says, that they die if their white coats get dirty.

It’s this legend that got me all intrigued.

The ermine would rather let itself be captured by hunters than take refuge in some dirty burrow, in fear of getting its fur ruined.

Is it vanity or chastity?

Do these things even matter to us anymore? Jus a thought..

Morrocan baths equal totally the rave here.

Almost EVERY woman in the Kingdom treats herself to it twice a month, recommends it and swears by it.

And today I finally did it and OHH-EMMM-GEEE!! SERIOUSLY!!!

So those who know me, also know I’m pretty much always up for adventure but dude I thought I was part of a Japanese horror flick! I mean what’s up with the steam Morroco?!?

I love getting pampered, I love hearing how healthy my skin will look after my whateva session and how much of a glow I will achieve. I love the results and I even love the pain- cz my motto is no pain, no gain of course.

So today I finally experienced a Morrocan steam bath and here are some things I learnt the hard way:

That you had to walk into the steam room with nothing but your lower part concealed.

That you’re in a dangerously hot room for about 2 hours.

That steam chokes you and you feel you are going to die- wallahi.

That women-bather-employees are very strong and ruthless.

That a woman can turn your entire body using her right arm.

That a rose-flower paste after lotsa steam makes you nauseous.

That it’s a semi-drowning experience with all the water going into your nose.

That the ol’ school way of using bowls full of water to wash you off, can be dangerous especially since you dont know the temperature or when she’s going to throw the water at you.

That shower hoses were invented to prevent hydrophobia.

That you have to have minimal understanding of the Morrocan Arabic dialect.

That you will learn Morrocan Arabic phrases.

That you will hear your bathers horror stories of being an abused housewife in Morroco and how all Arab men are monsters.

That you will have to have your driver buy your bather a meal as per her request. In our case Mr. Khorsheed made the food decision himself and bought her liver sandwiches and I really pray she hasn’t gotten food poisoning.

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I have inserted paintings of what a Morrocan bath slightly represents. I wish I had taken pictures, however I wasn’t quite sure my camera cud handle the excitment. Aslan, I couldn’t see anything most of the time- so…

So would I do it again?

 I really don’t know. I need some time to think it over. I did enjoy the results and the experience but I need a year to get over it, I think.

Lil Wayne’s SINGLE

May 17, 2010

I love the guys music. I like the eccentricity he has going. You could say I respect people who like to express themselves and have no barriers.

However, I’m kinda mad at him. Lil Wayne is arghhhh. His latest song ‘Single’ which I haven’t been listening to on repeat (ahemm) has really upset me.

So I’ve decided to do some analysing and I figured he IS a man at the end of the day and I understand why he’d do what he did jus cz his woman fussed!!

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The moral of this blog is we can all learn more than we expect to learn at the most unexpected places. So some tips for my sisters in nag are :

Lil Wayne says:  “my girl acting like a brat, so when she call, i don’t answer I just write her back, she hate it when I do that shit”

Translation and tip:  He’s tired- so don’t talk to him and it’s cz he’s not giving you attention- so you feel the need to be a “brat”. Leave him be. Go out and have fun. Someone else would love to have you be all bratty with them anyhow- or you get the above.

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Lil Wayne says:  “we can talk, she’d rather fuss, this and that bout such and such”

Translation and tip: He thinks he wants to talk, so he’s giving you a minute FINALLLLLY so you think wow I have his attention and you’re still venting out yesterday or the previous month/ weeks issues which you said would never be discussed but cz you’re not over it of course- you feel the urge to discuss them. He calls it fussing.

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Lil Wayne says: “she prolly out there f*@ &ing n-#gaz”

Translation and tip: He is trying to justify his own behaviour, so he is blaming you for being gorgeous and wants a break due to all the fussing and bratty behaviour. These are typical excuses men give when they cheat on a woman. Insecurities my darlings.

The Green-Eyed Monster

May 14, 2010

So Dee and I were talkin the other day about the green-eyed monster, jealousy- the beaatch.

 Time flew by, we had to part and I couldn’t get it off my mind. Which is why I decided to research it. Yes, for fun and also because it is so damn serious- like stupid-ass gum stuck in your hair.  

Now, we only focused on men, and that is the angle I researched.

Our discussion was based on why men get so jealous? And why their sudden disruptive behaviour.

We tried to narrow it down to culture, religion, nationality, tradition.. and ended up agreeing that all men, pretty much get worked up about the same things.

Sure- it’s flattering when a man gets a little jealous because everyone knows it means he digs you. Every well-read, well-educated woman knows this extremely well, yet she sorta-kinda flinches when he reacts. At some point or the other, she realises she has overreacted and it was a mere caring- jealousy thing.

To make things easier- I have categorized my jealousy lists. I do not do justice to the different things men go beserk over- however, here goes.

Jealousy #1 aka the “he digs me” kind.

This is the kinda jealousy that ranges from some of your cleavage showing to hugging a guy for longer than 2 seconds or hugging for that matter. It can also be smiling at a guy just because you happen to bump into him or step on his foot. Sound like a scene out of “The Wedding Planner”? This is the result of our forcing them to OD on chick flicks- because wtf everything eventually backfires anyhow.

Jealousy # 2 aka the “woah honey- it’s not really but could- MAY be my fault kinda” kind.

You still have an ex on your cells contact list, or FB, twitter,digg or an ex called you up cz he wants to tell you he has kids now and he still loves you but had to marry his wife cz it was an arranged thing. Or he just wants to holla at ya.

A guys perception- he wants a piecea yer ass. In all fairness, they speak the truth cz men know what their species is made of- which means yes, they do want a piecea YO ass.

Jealousy # 3 aka the “who do you hang out with?” kind.

So yea, guys get concerned about who you hang out with and assume you have the hottest male friends that want a piecea yer ass. Yes our hottest male friends are hot cz they’re gay. Women don’t hang out with hot men unless they want something from them- kids. And if a woman hangs out with a guy who is “hot” by male standard- then, she sure as hell does not think he is hot. For her, he really just is a friend.

Women do not give a damn about another man if they are in love.

In addition, a well-matured, sensible woman would avoid hanging out with the so-called hot guy friend, simply to not upset her man. Unless, i.e. she is not into her man and a so-called playa.

Of course, there’s when a guy asks you to leave lifelong male friends. I think, do what you think appropriate. One must tread carefully- it really isn’t that black and white. However, common sense usually rules this one- and every woman has common sense. Basically, i.e.

Are guys just as sensitive as women when it comes to jealousy? Yea they are- they have their own reasons, just like we do ours. Their reasons differ to ours- but tey do exist.

For a man, jealousy goes hand in hand with possessiveness. You belong to them and they own you.

Jus like my TOEFL Egyptian student ends her writings- I say ” How interesting life is! “

So Summer’s finally here.

How do I know? We have mangoes in the fridge of course. I know it’s May but for some reason, seeing mangoes means its summer to me. I guess such is the case due to my wild-fruity family. In all my 22 years of living, I have never once seen our house sans fruit.

So a couple of hours ago, I walked to the fridge to get myself a peach and surprise, surprise found mangoes there too. That split second really meant something to me….

 I realised I should have been Japanese. I mean, I love sushi. I love mangoes. Japanese people put mango in their food right? And if they didn’t, I would be the first.  

Sure, I could have chosen to be Thai, Filipina, Singaporian or Chinese. But I have friends that are those. Therefore, I would like to stand out and be the Japper.

So yeah- it’s mango time and the mangoes we have home are Indian btw which are THE best I reckon. My prayer is that God keeps their lands green in order to enable them to continue producing 13.5 millions tons of mangoes per year for exporting purposes.

And I also pray mangoes get cheaper in Europe.

For my calorie counting friends- 135 kcal can’t hurt right…. 

 

It used to annoy me, but I’ve found that if I shut up and nod my head- the comments/ observations eventually disappear.

I’m talkin about the way Arabs perceive things.

—–

Apparently I have these dark circles under my eyes, and my face looks puffy.

The Arab interpretation: She’s in love. She was crying.

Mine: I’m always online.

—-

So I wore tights and a long top at a gathering to hide my flab. 

The Arab interpretation: She’s in love. She’s losing weight.

Mine: I’ve gained 10 kilo’s. But thankyou.

—–

I wake up at 6, talk to make money, and at 23:00- I’ve run outta words.

The Arab interpretation: She’s in love. She’s thinking about him. She’s quiet.

Mine: I am exhausted. WALLAHI!

—–

I’ve dropped some sugar on the tray whilst adding sugar to their tea.

The Arab interpretation: She’s in love. Her hands are trembling.

Mine: It’s 00:16.  

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If only things were this simple…

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