So I’m wondering why Sunsilk, Head n Shoulders, Pantene and the likes didn’t do any sponsoring this time around. Why do I wonder? I’m jealous ofc. Mashalla, some of these guys have such pretty hair!!!

I appreciate pretty things such as Georgios Samaras of Greece’s pretty hair. Very healthy too *spit spit*

Then there’s Martin Demichelis’s lovely, distracting locks too.

 

“Let me show you my hair’s longer than yours with this ball head nod trick”

It’s like the secret to Argentina’s success lies in the hair *may God protect you from the evil eye*

 

We style our hair the same way sometimes- I think Argentina’s been using coconut oil thanks to India.

 

Edinson Cavani of Uruguay listened to his mom and ate his fruits and vegetables. Good job!

 

Simon Kjaer of Denmark, number 3, definitely puts chamomile tea in his hair to nourish his roots and keep his hair looking bright and golden.

These pictures do not do justice to Kjaers lovely locks- my apologies.

I wouldn’t mind exchanging hair tips, you guys..

Advertisements

 

 

 

Wallahi it has nothing to do with the fact that he was referee of the Denmark-Holland game, he’s jus plain thick.

At first, he strikes you as a real nice guy. The guy you’d be good friends with, and have semi-intelligent conversations with. You know conversations about fashion, football, good food etc. A friend of the family.

But dude, I’m glad you’re no friend of the family- cz I’d make sure of otherwise.

People are wishing he gets his ass back to France along with the French team right now and are threatening to beat him up with vuvuzelas… Come on!!! He did this to himself.

Those kind, pretty, brown, doe-eyes of his shuda really been harsh and lacking sympathy. Like Kaka deserved that second yellow card!!!!

Stephane, you need to take some more psych 101 classes or read some books on becoming assertive. I’m so glad I’m not head of FIFA’s referee office place or there’d be no evian for you!!

Arghhhh still can’t get over it!!

Lovin the passion Brazil 😉

LIP-READING FIFA 2010

June 19, 2010

Most of the time, I thank God we can’t hear language the players use. It’d be unbearable for the weak hearted, I imagine, as well as the conservative.

Nevertheless, lip reading is a blast. Some of my favorite lip reading moments so far have been:

 

Carlos Tevez (Argentina)- HIJO DE PUTA – Spanish for ‘Son of a bitch’

 

 

Karim Ziani (Algeria)- KAZZAB! Arabic for ‘Liar’

 

 

David James (England)- FOCCCCK!!! English for ‘Fuck’

 

 

To the referee:

Klose- ARSCHLOCH!!! German for ‘asshole’

Schweinsteiger- Du bist ein affe in verkleidung!! German for ‘you are a monkey in disguise’

Khedira- Meine vorfahren getoetet ihre vorfahren! German for ‘ my ancestors killed your ancestors’    

Ok, I just made  that one up cz Klose did NOT deserve that red card- arschloch referee!!

 

 

Simon Kjaer (Denmark)- For Satan!!! Danish for ‘dammit in Satans name’ (damnation and Satan aren’t two good things).

 

Lip reading’s so much fun!!

Beefin Simon Poulsen

June 15, 2010

To all the critics,

Yes, I mean all “you big shots who deliver news to the world” people plus all the disser’s.

Simon Poulsen made a boo-boo, but haven’t you ever made an even worse one yourself?? So go lick diarrhea darlings.

It was a mistake!! He did NOT intentionally score an “own” goal, and laugh about it!

Read up on psychology and learn basic human reactions. And you call yourself intelligent and educated with your stupid puns.

Yea, you wana sell your papers and trampy articles- good job. Carry on making fun of people and earn your living. I’m sure you can sleep absolutely peacefully at night.

Don’t you get it? The greatest men on earth promoted peace, love and harmony and preached against roasting!

But- YOU. Of course, you don’t.

Roasting’s your habit love and even though I’m not into cramping your style, go swallow a screwdriver! Seriously.

Simon Poulsen did well, and like I said before. We ALL make mistakes- no matter the size, a mistake is a mistake.

Here’s to playing Cameroon next.

And yes I am very miffled.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I shall be in limbo  June 11- July 11 due to rather important events. No I will not be in Afghanistan teaching children, my blogging absence will be due to a very busy TV schedule which will be followed by loss of voice, loss of temper, lack of sleep, possible flu and lots of pizza.

Yes, FIFA has finally started. So far, the only annoying thing of it is those bee-sounding Vuvuzela’s (South African musical instrument) which with all due respect, I’m SURE sound excellent if played properly but people- I’m watchin it on TV and the bzzzzzz is getting to me.

May God be with all the teams and give you strength and courage to play your best my darlings!!!

Especially Brazil, Denmark, France, Germany, England, ALGERRRRRIA (proud of you), Holland, Portugal, Nigeria, Uruguay, Spain, Argentina, Mexico, Cameroon and bellissimo Italia ( Italy cz my friends love you- you still play dirty).

That’s 15 favorite teams of mine, not all 32. This is for the people who say I like everybody. See, I don’t 🙂

p.s. I’m lovin all the pepsi ads, not to mention flashbacks of games gone by.

My family and phones.

June 5, 2010

So it’s Friday.

Friday in our household means every single person in our family calling every other single person in our family(i.e. if they are on good terms) and hollerin at ’em. Or vice-versa- whatever.

This ritual has been happening ever since I was born (in the 90’s).

I’d like to share this picture because I think it so perfectly describes my darling family. The dresses, outfits, expressions, enthusiasm- so 50’s. My aunts shuda been in Hollywood.

 

I’d also like to share the conversation I had the honor of hearing this morning. This is exactly how it went.  

———————————-

Dad: Congratulations on the new baby! (My aunt has a son and a daughter, and her son’s wife had their second son, and her daughter had her second son)

Dad: Yes, I mean babies. How many kids do they each have now? Oh yes, I knew that. Congratulations- I’m so happy for you- may you live and see your grandchildren happy- ameeen.

Dad: Yes, ameen. I pray next year my daughters bear children as well.

Dad: Of course the child looks like his brother. Who’d you think he’d look like? Me, his uncle??? ( an example of a man misunderstanding a womans happiness and excess talk, regardless the relationship)

Dad: Why did blood come out of the childs belly button??!?!? That’s insane. That never happened to my girls.

Dad: *silent for 8 minutes* 

Dad: You know it’s all the chemicals todays generation eats. Its the hormones they inject into the chicken. All babies today have the same problem.

—————————————

I’m jus loving my Dads theory. There could be truth to it- who knows? Lmao.

So FIFA’s a couple of seconds away- starts June 11, and as always- I can’t wait.

I was raised with football. I was taught the lingo. Pele and Maradona were the Kings. I said Beckenbauer before I said nailpolish. I knew of no other Kingdom except for the Football one. GOAAAALLL was like saying please, thankyou and sorry.

And for some reason I can’t stop thinking of Pele today. May God protect him and his health.

 

When he released the Pele Mastercard, I attended the ceremony, saw him for real and got my very own Pele Mastercard. He taught me finance. I learnt why it was bad to max out a credit card.

I used to believe he was friends with both my grandfathers (may they rest in peace), despite the fact that they did not speak the same languages and lived at opposite ends of the earth. But then again, I believed in Rainbow Brite and that Spiderman would propose when I’d grow up. Spiderman doesn’t exist btw.

So this one’s for you Grandpa Pele. 17 and you worked your magic on Sweden. You made 1958 a good year. Four FIFA world cups and three gold medals sure is somethin.

 

I’m speechless. I adore what you are about. You are a living legend. You make me wana shed happy tears.

%d bloggers like this: